This Time It Was Different
by dramalover74
Summary: A Rizzles tale. Two strong, independent women both find themselves at a crossroads in their lives. Can they learn to rely on each other and find their way forward?
1. Chapter 1

This Time It Was Different

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles- they belong to TNT and Tess Gerritsen.**

Chapter 1

Dr. Maura Isles couldn't help the sigh she had just released. She'd rolled over slightly to check the time and just wasn't happy that the illuminated numbers shined 11:48 pm. It was late. Later than she had wanted the night to go. She sighed once more and carefully pulled the covers away from her body.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. There was enough light filtering into the room that she didn't need to turn on the lamp that was on the nightstand. Instead, she simply collected her garments that had been discarded earlier in the evening. Luckily all her items seemed to be located in the same general location near the foot of the bed.

She had just managed to pick up the last of her items when the silence of the room was disrupted.

"Stay," came the sleep filled voice.

Maura found herself sighing again. She had hoped to avoid any conversation. In truth, she'd hoped she could just sneak out without him waking up.

"I need to get home," she stated without turning around.

"Stay," came the voice once again only this time the man was much more awake and Maura could hear that he had shifted to sit up in bed.

"I'm going home," Maura said a little more sternly turning back to look at Alan. She hoped now that he was actually awake he would see the resolve in her face. Not giving him a chance to reply she took her clothes into the bathroom and closed the door.

She carried her items over to the counter and set them down. She turned on the water more to fill the room with noise than to really use the running water for anything. She quickly dressed herself knowing she would end up taking a shower as soon as she got home. She really only escaped into the bathroom to end the conversation with Alan.

He was a nice man. He had met her physical needs. But lately he was becoming attached and that was the last thing she'd wanted. That wasn't what they agreed this would be. It was always just supposed to be about sex. It was supposed to be uncomplicated. But he had been asking her to stay after the last few encounters. And that, well that was a complication.

She finished getting dressed and turned off the water. She checked herself quickly in the mirror to make sure she was presentable enough to make it all the way to her car and she turned off the bathroom light walking back into the bedroom.

"You really can stay," Alan tried once more.

Maura had to fight not to roll her eyes. She'd never said yes nor would she ever say yes to that. This was why she'd never had him over to her place. At least with this arrangement she could leave whenever she wanted.

"Alan," she said with a flat tone. "I know I can. I just won't." She wasn't deliberately trying to be mean but she wasn't going to have this kind of conversation with him.

He didn't hide the hurt that flashed across his face but he didn't try to suggest she stay. Instead, he shifted on the bed and swung his legs over the side. He stood up and walked over to a chair in the corner of the room where he picked up a robe and put it on. He was at least going to walk Maura out.

In the meantime, Maura collected the last of her items and started to make her way into the living room. She realized Alan was going to see her out which wasn't what she wanted but at this point there wasn't anything she could do about it.

She followed Alan into the living room and he started to unlock the front door. "So will I see you this weekend?" he asked trying to hide the desperation in his voice. He really wanted to spend more time with her.

"No," Maura answered. "I'll be in Boston."

Alan raised an eyebrow. She hadn't mentioned anything about a trip to Boston. But then again she never really talked much about herself. "Alright," he said a little defeated. "Can I see you when you get back?"

"I'm not coming back," Maura said as if it was the most casual thing in the world to say.

"What?" he asked not understanding what she meant.

"I was offered the Chief Medical Examiner's position in Boston and I accepted," Maura replied. She'd been looking for something new. A way out of San Francisco. Boston seemed to be her best option for a fresh start.

"You're moving to Boston?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes," she answered. By this time she had gathered up her purse and was making her way to the front door.

"And you weren't going to tell me?" Alan asked.

"I didn't see a reason to," Maura replied. They weren't in a relationship. Far from it. She didn't owe him any explanation on the things she chose to do with her life.

"But we…" Alan started but Maura wouldn't let him finish.

"We were never a 'we'," she said. "I told you that from the beginning." She had been nothing but upfront with him. It was always simply about physical needs.

"I just didn't think you really meant it," he said now crestfallen.

"I meant it," she said. She opened his front door and took a step outside. Turning she said one last thing to the man before leaving. "Goodbye Alan."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Jane put her car in park and turned off the ignition. But she didn't immediately get out of the car. Instead she stared out the windshield at the building in front of her. She'd been coming here every day for the last two weeks. Two weeks of hoping that things were going to be different. Two weeks of longing for a change. A change she was desperate to have.

But to that point, the change hadn't come. Sitting there staring at the building she had to admit she was scared. And she wasn't one to scare easily. Not badass Detective Rizzoli. Not the woman who had just faced down the psychotic serial killer Charles Hoyt and lived to tell the tale.

But it was the end result of that encounter that scared her. She had survived his brutal attack but what she faced now terrified her more than anything Hoyt had threatened to do to her. This, she thought as she continued to stare at the building, felt like it had the potential to be permanent. And that what was scared the detective the most.

Exhaling deeply, Jane finally exited her car. She grabbed the bag from the passenger side and headed into the building. Perhaps, just perhaps, today would be different.

"Hey Jane," the man behind the counter greeted her as she approached the counter.

"Hi Sal," Jane greeted and tried to sound cheerful. It certainly wasn't Sal's fault things weren't going well with all of this.

"The usual?" Sal asked already knowing the answer. The detective had been there every day for the previous two weeks. They all knew what she was doing there.

"Yeah," Jane said quietly. "Thanks," she added as an afterthought.

Sal nodded. He entered a few things into his computer and hit the buzzer letting Jane enter the side door. "Number 3," he said to her as she walked past him.

Jane simply nodded and made her way to bay number 3. It had been the same one she'd be using since she started coming here. She got to the bay and found everything was as she needed it to be.

She put her bag down and unzipped it. Before pulling anything from the bag she got the rest of the area all set up. Then she reached into the bag and pulled out her Glock. She tried to only focus on the feel of the gun in her hand instead of looking at the set of matching scars she now carried as a constant reminder of what had happened with Hoyt.

The feel of the gun still wasn't quite right. It used to feel natural holding the Glock. The gun had been an extension of her own hand. But that was no longer the case. It felt almost foreign to her now. It was one of the things she was trying to change. After a minute, she placed the Glock down and reached back into the bag to pull out a clip of ammo.

Taking a deep breath, Jane loaded her Glock, clicked off the safety and chambered a round. She then placed the required earplugs and safety glasses on and lightly held the gun in her hand not yet trying to test a full grip.

She took a deep breath and raised the gun to the target. She tried to aim the gun in front of her. Already her hands were starting to cramp. This was not a good sign for her. Not one shot fired yet and already her hands were starting to shake.

She took aim and tried to squeeze the trigger. And just like the previous two weeks, her finger didn't seem to respond to her wish. She released a breath and tried again forcing herself to concentrate on just her trigger finger. With far more exertion than it should have taken, Jane finally managed to squeeze her finger enough to fire off a round.

And just like all the other times, it wasn't good. The pain that shot through her hand was almost unbearable. She almost dropped the Glock only at the last moment managing to get the gun placed on the counter in front of her. She tried to focus on her breathing as a way of getting through the stinging pain still radiating from her hand.

Just like every other time.

Once the pain finally subsided she hit the button to retrieve the target she had been aiming at. She'd gotten off the one round but she knew even before she saw the target it was a horrible shot. The target finally approached and she saw the fruits of her effort. The single bullet hole in the target was found in the bottom corner. She'd almost missed the target completely.

Complete failure.

Again.

It was all she needed to see for the day. She packed up her gun and left the bay area. If Sal was surprised to see her leaving so quickly, he hid it well. Then again, he had hidden it well for two weeks now.

"Thanks," Jane mumbled on her way out.

"See you tomorrow," was all Sal said. He felt bad for the detective. He had read about her encounter with the serial killer and her injuries. It didn't take him long to realize things weren't going well. The detective seemed to only stay long enough to get one round off at most.

XXXXXXXXXX

Jane knocked on the door and prayed Amy was home. She needed her to be home. Lately this was the only thing, the only place, where she felt like she had any control. She needed Amy to answer her knocking. She needed to feel in control of her life at least for a little while. Relief washed over her when she heard the rattling of the chains on the other side of the door.

Amy barely got the door open before Jane had her backed up against the closet door opposite her entryway. Jane's lips pressed firmly against Amy's stopping any greeting or question from the young woman. Instead, within seconds their kiss became heated. Jane's tongue worked its way into Amy's mouth as she quickly established dominance.

Amy moaned as she felt Jane's hands working to remove her shirt. She shouldn't have been surprised by any of this. Jane had made it a habit of showing up at her doorstep as of late. Not that she cared. The sex was fantastic. She let out another moan as she felt Jane's lips trail down her neck and across her chest.

Jane had her bra off and mouth around her nipple before Amy could even react with more than another moan. She leaned back against the closet door and let Jane work her over.

"Jesus," Amy mumbled as Jane switched from one breast to the other.

"Bed," Jane breathed out as she continued to work her mouth over Amy's breasts.

Amy calculated the distance between the hallway and the bedroom and in a flash she knew she'd never get there under her own power. Not with what Jane was doing to her. So she simply jumped and wrapped her legs around Jane's waist. It was all the hint Jane needed. She secured Amy with her arms and made the familiar march up to her bedroom.

It wasn't love. It wasn't even companionship. But it was something Jane could control and for the moment that was enough for her.

**A/N: This is the first time I've posted anything I've written so please let me know if this is worth continuing or if I should just go back to reading the work of others instead. I plan for this to be a multi-chapter story focusing on Jane and Maura meeting and starting a relationship with each other. It won't really follow canon but it will stay focused on the developing relationship between the two.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_Knock Knock Knock_

Jane looked up from the newspaper she was reading while standing at her breakfast bar and stared at the door. While she didn't have super powers that allowed her to see through her front door she was certain she knew exactly who was standing on the other side of the door. She made no move to actual answer the knock.

_Knock Knock Knock_

If possible, the knocking seemed to be more insistent. And yet Jane still didn't move. Instead, she was debating on the likelihood of the knocker simply giving up and going away. She frowned when that calculation kept coming to a 'no way in hell' conclusion.

"Open up Janie," came Angela's voice.

What was it about a mother's ability to create such a tone of voice that a child, regardless of age, seemed forced to concede and respond to? She knew her mother wasn't going to leave until she at least let her in for a few minutes. Jane sighed and put down her coffee and slowly made her way to the front door.

She took a deep, cleansing breath before she undid the chain and deadbolt on the door. She simply opened the door and stepped aside knowing her mother wouldn't be denied entry.

"Morning," Jane said as her way of greeting her mother.

She loved her mother. Very much. But her mother had the ability to overwhelm her sometimes and Angela's motherly hovering had been running at an all-time high ever since the Hoyt encounter. While Jane appreciated the love and concern, her mother had a tendency to simply wear her out.

"Took you long enough," Angela responded as she made her way into Jane's apartment. There wasn't much snark in her tone which actually surprised Jane.

"Sorry," Jane said making her way towards her kitchen. "I was in the bathroom." She probably didn't need to offer up an excuse that was also a lie but she found herself doing it anyway. "Coffee?" She was already getting a mug from her cupboard.

"Yeah, thanks," Angela said. She was taking off her jacket and placed that and her purse on the couch in the living room. She couldn't help but take a look around her daughter's apartment. She breathed a little easier when she saw that everything seemed to be in order. One of Jane's tells when things were completely overwhelming her was clutter and mess in her apartment. But everything appeared to be put away and the place seemed well organized.

She was worried about her daughter. She always worried about all her kids but her concern for Jane had been more intense lately. The 'incident' with Hoyt had been horrible for Jane and for the whole family. Angela was just now starting to sleep through the night without having nightmares that always ended with Jane's partner showing up too late to save her baby girl.

Angela made an involuntary shudder just thinking about some of her dreams. Jane was safe she had to remind herself. Jane was right there and about to hand her a cup of coffee. In fact, her daughter had stepped in front of her and held out a cup for her mother to take.

Angela took the cup and had to force herself not to stare at Jane's injured hands. It was hard because that was what she'd wanted to find out about but she was trying to figure out how to go about doing that without upsetting her daughter. Jane's rehab with her hands wasn't going as well as Jane had wanted. She'd gotten amazing functionality back with both hands but her ability to handle and shoot her gun, essential for returning to something other than the desk duty she was currently on, hadn't progressed to her liking.

"No change," Jane filled in the silence and answered the unasked question. She saw her mother deliberately trying not to look at her hands and she knew Angela wanted to know.

Angela looked up at her daughter with nothing but sympathy and compassion. Personally, she hated what Jane did for a living. Hated the danger and worry it caused. But it mattered to Jane. The job almost defined who Jane was and Angela understood that being a cop meant virtually everything to her. So her desire to have her daughter be happy overruled her motherly worry. But just barely.

Now, she simply hoped Jane could get her hands back to where she'd be able to handle her gun once again. It was keeping her from being able to do what she seemed meant to do in life.

"I'm sorry Jane," Angela replied while reaching out and placing her hand on Jane's shoulder.

Jane tried to shrug. "I'll get there," she said. She just wasn't so sure she actually believed that right now.

"What does the therapist say?" Angela asked and made a move to sit on a chair in Jane's kitchen.

Jane followed her mother into the kitchen. "The usual. 'It takes time.' 'You've made great progress.' 'We just need to keep working.'" Jane paused and took a seat next to her mother. "We," she said again a little more sharply. "Like it's 'we' that has to deal with the pain and the cramping. That's not a 'we' thing."

"Honey," Angela said trying her best to reassure Jane that there has been progress. "You really have come so, so far. I mean," she said and locked her eyes with Jane's, "just a few weeks ago you couldn't do most day to day tasks without help. Now, you are back staying on your own and you're back to work, even if it is just on desk duty. That's more than what you had even two weeks ago."

Until about three weeks ago, Jane couldn't do much on her own. Her hands couldn't grasp anything and her fingers had no strength at all. She'd had to stay with her parents and her mother had to dress her, bathe her and even help feed her. So yeah, she's made significant progress.

"I know Ma," Jane admitted. "And if I had any other kind of job the progress I've made would be enough. More than enough. But I'm a cop. And right now I can't fire my gun. If that doesn't change. If that doesn't get better. My career is over."

It was a potential reality Jane was desperately trying not to acknowledge.

"Jane," Angela started but Jane cut her off.

"I know, I know," Jane said. "I just need to give it more time."

"You do honey," Angela said. She knew how frustrating this had been for Jane. She just didn't know how to help her with this other than to try to be a voice of encouragement and love.

Jane nodded her head but didn't say anything for a few minutes instead focusing her attention on taking sips of her coffee.

Angela, sensing that Jane was done discussing her hands for the moment, moved to change the subject. "So," she broke the silence, "how is Amy?"

Jane had to force herself not to roll her eyes since she knew her mother was focusing on her. She didn't know what she disliked talking about more: her hands or her sex life.

"She's fine," was all Jane offered.

"You know you can invite her to a Sunday dinner Jane," Angela pointed out. "You know your father and I don't have any issues with you liking girls."

That made Jane almost giggle. She loved that her parents, her whole family actually, was accepting of her being gay. But it amused her to no end that none of them could ever really say words like 'gay' or 'lesbian' or 'homosexual'. She wasn't sure if they just didn't like the words or hadn't figured out if saying them would be rude. So Jane simply 'liked girls' according to anyone in her family. All things considered, she didn't mind that peculiar quirk of her family.

"Ma, I'm not bringing Amy to a family dinner," Jane replied knowing this conversation was going in a direction she wasn't going to like.

"Why not? Are you ashamed of us?" Angela asked. She really didn't believe that but she thought it would get an answer out of her daughter.

"No!" Jane exclaimed. "Ma, you know I'm not ashamed of my family."

"Then why won't you bring Amy over for dinner?" Angela tried again.

"It's not that kind of relationship," Jane replied.

"Not what kind?" Angela asked.

"It's not the kind that includes meeting family," Jane answered. With that she got up and walked over the sink pouring out her coffee and rinsing out her mug. She really only did it try to end this conversation.

"So you don't ever intend to introduce her to us?" Angela asked. She just didn't understand this type of relationship.

"No Ma, I don't," Jane said. "It's just not like that for us. It's not really a relationship."

"So it's just about sex?" Angela asked.

"Ma," Jane sighed.

"What? I'm just trying to figure this out," Angela said with an earnest look on her face.

"There's nothing to figure out," Jane insisted. "Amy is just someone I…" but she was cut off.

"Have sex with?" Angela finished.

"Well," Jane said and paused. "Yeah." That really was all there was to their relationship.

"That's not enough Jane," Angela said. "That can't possibly be enough to make you happy."

"I'm not looking for a relationship right now Ma," Jane said. Things in her life were so uncertain, so unsettled, that she couldn't even begin to think about an actual relationship.

"But…" Angela tried.

"But nothing Ma," Jane said with finality to her tone. "Not right now. Not until I figure out what kind of future I'm going to have."

Angela sighed. She wanted to protest. Wanted to point out that perhaps things would seem better if she also had someone besides her family and friends to help her through all of this. But she didn't push the subject matter. She knew this was Jane's call and she clearly wasn't ready right now.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Good morning Doctor Isles," Andrew said as Maura made her way into the dining room. "Breakfast will be ready shortly. In the meantime, would you like some coffee?"

Maura nodded, "Yes, thank you." She walked through the kitchen and into the dining room where she found her place set and the newspaper ready for her. She took her seat and hadn't even unfolded the paper before Andrew appeared with her coffee.

"Thank you," Maura said again.

Andrew simply nodded. "Your mother asked that you call her when you had an available moment," he said and waited to see if the young woman had any specific requests for him.

Maura nodded. It was the kind of nod that dismissed Andrew. He returned to the kitchen most likely to finish her breakfast preparations. She grabbed her phone quickly doing the time zone math and knowing it wasn't too late in Germany for a call.

"Darling," Constance's voice came across Maura's phone with an enthusiastic greeting.

"Hello Mother," Maura said with a smile. "How's Berlin?"

"Wonderful darling," Constance replied. "Your father is having a grand time sampling the local spirits."

Maura chuckled knowing her father had an unusual love of beer. She could only imagine how many pubs he had forced her mother into so he could sample the beverages. "Well, I'm glad he is having a good time."

"He is darling," Constance replied.

"So," Maura said, "Andrew said you wanted me to call?" She was unsure of what her mother wanted.

"I just wanted to make sure you've settled in," Constance replied.

"I'm good Mother," Maura replied. She'd been in Boston for about a week now.

"Andrew is taking care of things I assume," Constance stated more than asked. She had faith that their caretaker would ensure all of Maura's needs were met.

"Yes Mother," Maura answered. "The entire staff has been more than accommodating."

"Excellent dear. Your father and I will be back in the States at the end of the month," Constance informed her. "It will be so nice to be able to spend some time with you then."

Maura didn't get to see her parents very often. They travelled the globe frequently and when they were in the US they tended to stay in either Boston or New York only occasionally making it all the way out to San Francisco to see Maura. The possibility of spending more time with her parents was one of the reasons Maura agreed to take the job for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

"I look forward to it," Maura replied and meant it. She wasn't extremely close with her parents but they weren't estranged either. All three were simply extremely busy with their individual careers to find more than sparse time to spend together.

"Will you be still be at the house when we return?" Constance asked.

"I believe so," Maura said. Her house hunting hasn't produced much to date. "I've only managed to find time to look at 2 houses so far and I didn't care for either one."

"Are you using Stella?" Constance asked.

"Yes," Maura replied. "It hasn't been her fault. I wasn't specific enough on what I wanted with her. We had a long talk and she is searching for properties that fit my requirements. But honestly, I doubt I'll have found a place let alone get through escrow before you both return. So I should still be here when you return."

"Excellent. It will give us a chance to spend some time together," Constance replied. She'd been excited to hear that Maura took a job in Boston. "How is work coming?"

Maura sighed. The previous week had been interesting. "The lab needs several upgrades but I have been given the approval to get what is necessary. Some of the medical examiners are not quite to the standard I would like," she said as she thought about the nearly incompetent reports she'd read from a Dr. Pike. "But I'll figure out who can improve and who may need to be let go. Getting the department to run as I'd like it will just take little time."

"Well," Constance said, "I'm sure you can handle whatever needs to be addressed." Constance had complete faith in her daughter's abilities.

"I've been reviewing staff and facilities all week," Maura said. "This week I will finally be out in the field and will start working with the detectives." She hadn't been an active part of any case or investigation yet but she was starting her rotation into the field that week. She was curious as to how things would transpire with the homicide detectives.

She had a fairly decent working relationship with the San Francisco homicide department. But admittedly it had taken quite a bit of time for the detectives to understand and accept her methodology in the field. She refused to make assumptions or jump to conclusions without thorough scientific examination. She wouldn't speculate about anything. Her methods tended to antagonize impatient detectives looking for quick answers.

But Maura understood the absolute need to be precise during investigations. Precision was the difference between finding and arresting a murder suspect and potentially wasting valuable time and resources chasing hunches and assumptions. In the end, her methodic nature won over the detectives, the prosecutors and eventually all juries. But she was starting all over again so she anticipated having to retrain Boston's detectives to accept her methods.

"Have you met any of the detectives?" Constance asked.

Andrew returned with Maura's breakfast. She allowed him to place everything down in front of her and nodded at him that everything seemed satisfactory. He quickly returned into the kitchen. "Briefly. I was introduced to the first shift detectives that happened to be in the building on my first day. But it was simply a quick hello. I anticipate more in-depth interactions starting this week."

"That will go just fine," Constance replied again fully confident in her daughter. "Alright darling, I need to let you go. Your Father is ready to visit some new pub."

The vision of her father dragging her mother into local pubs for beer made Maura laugh. She was certain her mother preferred fine dining to pubs and beer. "Don't keep him waiting," Maura warned. "And be sure to give him my love."

"I will," Constance said. "Please take care of yourself and we shall talk again soon."

Maura disconnected the call and finally started to consume her breakfast. She knew she would eventually get the Boston detectives to understand her methods would ultimately help them but she was also well aware, especially after reading through the various reports, of the fact that they had never experienced an examination to the caliber of what was her standard. They initially weren't going to like her style. She was sure of that.

The only thing she wasn't sure of was just how much would they dislike her at first. For that, she knew, only time would tell.

**A/N: Thank you all so much for all the follows, favorites and reviews so far. I wasn't expecting such an amazing response. It has made me all giddy! I'm truly touched and will definitely continue this story. I plan to post frequently. I can't promise daily but I'm fairly certain I can get out a couple of chapters a week so it shouldn't go more than a couple of days without an update. Weekends are easier for me than during the week. But I'll do my best to be as frequent as my schedule allows. Again- thanks so much to everyone!**


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